Small Talk
David Quentin Dauthier
http://www.huanqiu.com 来源：环球时报 网友评论条进入论坛 2008-01-10 10:22
Once you have decided to start a conversation with someone, you should introduce yourself and state your purpose（目的）. For example, “Hi, my name is David. May I speak with you for a moment to practice my English?” If the person refuses, say “Thanks anyway. Have a nice day/afternoon/evening. Goodbye.” If the person says yes, then move on with the conversation. The conversation can be about almost anything you like with only a few exceptions（例外）. In order to have a good conversation, there are only three things to leave out and one thing to put in; leave out: politics, religion（宗教）and personal questions; put in: a little of yourself.
Politics and religion should be avoided（避免）for obvious reason.. Generally speaking, political and religious opinions are personal, and in many societies（社会）, people go to great lengths to avoid discussing them-even with friends and workmates. If a person asks you about politics or religion, and you do not want to talk about them, it is perfectly ok to say, “If you do not mind, I would rather not talk about politics/religion.” If the person persists（坚持）, they are rude, and you would not want to talk to them any-way-just say goodbye and walk away.
Personal questions concerning（关于）such things as marriage, income and age should also be avoided. If you are not sure if a question is personal or not, all you have to do is ask permission to ask. For example: “May I ask you a personal question?” or “Would it be ok if I asked if you are married?” If the person says that it is ok, proceed（继续进行）. If they say it is not, move on to another topic quickly. Do not feel the need to apologize. You did not do anything wrong by asking permission. However, it would be very awkward for you to dwell on（继续讲述）the topic by apologizing.
If you are wondering what you should talk about, let me suggest that you give some of the information that you are privileged（有特权的，在这里是“某人专有的，只有某人才知道的”）to know as a local person. That is, put a little of yourself into the conversation. As a foreigner living in Beijing, I have heard the standard grilling（盘问）that passes for conversation. Where are you from? Do you like China? Blah, Blah, Blah... How boring! Offer the foreigner a little information that cannot be found in the guide books. A small restaurant that is cheap and has great food or parks where one can listen to local opera sung by old people are rare treasures to foreign visitors. There are thousands of bits of information you could share, and most foreigners would be delighted to receive a few sightseeing（观光）suggestions.
In the end, a first conversation should never be allowed to make anyone feel uncomfortable by intruding（闯入）into a participant's private affairs. A good conversation where two people share useful information can serve two purposes. First, it can give you some English practice that is interesting, and, second, it can lay the foundation（基础）for friendly exchange and perhaps a friendship.
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